Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Mitube: Mithirst

I had to leave really early this morning. It's like a different species on the tube at this hour, the serious professionals if  you will, none of my fellow media types. How I know this is because there are a lot of shirts and cuff links, females included. I have a charity event to go to tonight, hence I'm going to get into work early. The charity is around the water crises in Cambodia and Ethiopia. Considering how thirsty I am, just from being on the tube for 10 minutes, I can't imagine what it must be like to not have access to clean water, or any water for that matter. Further to that everyone on this train looks successful and well fed. Well if the Marc Jacobs is anything to go by, my seat neighbour really does. We live in a world very far from malnutrition in this city. We have water and beer on tap and a health/social system that won't allow any child to die of starvation. So while I sip champagne at this event I will try appreciate that what I'm drinking is clean and not only clean, with bubbles. Hopefully there is something I can do to help quench the thirst of people who have less than me.

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Monday, June 11, 2012

Mitube: Mitats

Morning good people. Ok so I was standing next to this guy who had a lot of visible tattoos, namely on his neck. I'm still not sure where I stand on the tattoo front, it seems like such a commitment and the only thing I'd consider branding myself with is probably the names of my family members. But we already share the same genes and unruly hair I don't know if that's necessary. Blood is thicker than ink. Back to my tatooed friend. The one tattoo says only God can judge me. The other is a nickname of sorts, can't quite make it out. Now its quite an obvious irony that a tattoo about judgement is wrapped around the neck of said gentleman because here I am judging him. Not necessarily negatively. Just trying to figure out the motive. He's wearing double denim and fake gucci shoes (how's that for judgement) which makes me wonder what job he holds, how employers react to all the tats, what he's been through to wear his thoughts so visibly. All the questions that fly through our head without consciously judging someone. So without trying I've just judged him, does this mean his tattoo is rendered inaccurate?  I suppose the world and tupac can agree that "only god can judge me" sounds a bit better than "only god's judgement of me is the one that matters" for example. It is a lot less lyrically catchy and I'm dubious about wrapping such a long phrase around anyone's neck. If we didn't judge each other we wouldn't compete as much, if we didn't compete we wouldn't spend as much, if we didn't spend as much we'd realise that we didn't need as much. And then the economy would fail! Any more so if possible.  Ok tangent 2.0. I guess I just wish we didn't judge each other so easily and so negatively. Our every potential will be realised in judging each other positively, in pulling someone forward you also remain ahead.
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Friday, June 8, 2012

Mitube: Mitrainny

You know its a bad sign when someone is wearing the north face on the 8th of June. I personally am wearing a cardie and blazer and tights today. Its just not right. I'm looking around for a story and not finding one. Hopefully it finds me soon because I don't have my ear phones and this is my only form of entertainment I have right now. There's this woman speaking a foreign language but her voice sounds hoarse and deep like a tranny. I wonder if she is a woman. Yes.. Yes I believe she is. Its not often that I take a bus but the other night I was trying to get home from a miike snow concert in Briton so I got chatting to the bus driver because I wasn't sure if I was on the right bus. Turns out he liked the idea of said chat and by the end of the journey had revealed he is a transvestite. But straight. He said that there is a following in the uk of straight men who like to dress as women and he is in the top 10. He slipped his phone under the glass divider to show me a pic. He looked like a gorgeous she and I couldn't believe the transformation. Like winter in summer it was a bit surreal getting my head around straight trannies but what a dynamic guy. Would love to investigate the movement further as its just another example of the fusing identities of men and women. I think the fact that this man worked in public service but moonlights as a bombshell is just androgenius.
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Thursday, June 7, 2012

Mitube: Miview

Ok so I realise its been a little more about me/mi than tube in these posts. So putting my rambling bubblegum philosophies aside.. this is what I see today. Confused dressing: some coats, some dresses. Very tall guy perpetually licking his lips. Cute middle aged guy. Woman with severely spikey hair, literally like a blonde tipped hedgehog. Girl reading under the weather by tom fort, book cover is really cool. Guy watching a video clip with his beats by dre black headphones which I really want. Well I couldn't decide between red, white or black but seeing his black ones I may be swayed. Couple both in trench coats looking like private investigators, glancing around and speaking in hushed tones. No wait he's got a legal document that he is scribbling on.. It has a ministry of justice crest how appropriate. She leans in to whisper something and he thinks she's stealing a kiss and they have a second of awkwardness. He looks around to assess how many people saw it. I of course continue to watch them because I'm socially sadistic. They get off at embankment, my guess is that they're going to westminster or they're changing to go to st james park to scotland yard. What say you watson? There's also an indiana jones on this tube. Worn leather jacket, sling bag with a load of clasps like he's going to rock climb out of the tube station. I do believe we've covered all genres, drama, romantic comedy, crime, mystery, adventure haha... Truth is stranger than fiction.
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Friday, June 1, 2012

Mitube: An underground drizzle

The one perk of being late for work is getting a seat on the train, the rush is over and the mood is generally good. Its friday after all. Mood indicators to verify this range from smiley starbux drinking couple, people allowing eachother to pass, people laughing at the pages of the books they're reading. Its all quite pleasant. Like the lemon drizzle I baked at 1 am last night/this morning. Its sitting on my lap and it looks gorgeous, sponge overflowing the edges of the tin, sugary frosty goodness... I can smell the lemon zest through the container. Its all in aid of charity, our charity committee supports a great school in the community. The woman in front of me has the most insanely perfect eyebrows, definitely pencilled. Ah sunshine yellow dress wearing blonde smiley starbux sipping woman just sat next to me and she smells lovely. Kissing her boyfriend goodbye at his stop she sat down and I can tell she's still smiling long after he's gone. So with my lemon drizzle on the lap and my yellow dress friend we're starting to develop a little theme and its making me feel very summery. And I know I'm prone to motivational quips and so I'm seriously going to avoid a 'life hands you lemons' adege. BUT. I found baking the lemon drizzle very therapeutic. So. Mix 225g of caster sugar with 225g of unsalted butter with a beater till its pale and creamy. Slowly add 4 eggs (1 at a time) and stir into the mixture with a spoon. Sieve in 225 g of self raising flour. Add the grated rind of 2 lemons. mix for approx 1 minute until all ingredients are combined. Bake at 180 degrees celcius (160 fan assisted) for  50 minutes or a skewer comes out clean. While its cooling squeeze 2 med lemons and add 85 g of caster sugar, poke the drizzle all over (couldn't think of proper baking terminology for that) and poor the mixture over the cake. Allow to cool. This is amazing, moist and very zesty/tarty. So considering we're expecting rain this jubilee, when life hands you rain make a drizzle. Haaaa.
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Thursday, May 31, 2012

Mitube: Mitubular


My head was so full of ideas this morning that for the first half of my train ride I forgot I was supposed to be writing this. I was standing next to a woman who looked so sad, like a black hole of energy with no more optimism to give. Like the threat of a dementor ciphering the joy out of anyone in a 10 centre metre radius. Because I've woken up in a moderate mood I can't risk anything that tips me over the edge of darkness so I stand up straight and smile to over compensate for her slouchy sombre presence. That must have looked a bit strange but its what we need to do to stay optimistic & breezy. Even stranger was that I had nowhere to hold onto for support and was bending my knees to balance the wave of the Northern line.  Next to her is one of the most beautiful girls I've seen in a while, her skin is perfect, her figure enviable and her outfit very swish. I can't help but be fascinated by beautiful people. I wonder about their lives more than someone like grumpyshoes next to her. Its strange how life has a way of rewarding people who have an aesthetic harmony to them. I'm not trying to sound like an early morning hippy tube surfer plugging my motivational barrels but I think combined with a good attitude and tireless enthusiasm life rewards you in authentic ways. I know every day that I decide with every cell in my body that I'm going to have a good day, even if it requires a healthy side of denial, I do. I think if more people realised that a simple attitude adjustment and over compensation for the negative energy in this world could transform your day they would. So I'll smile till my very last stop and who knows what will come of it. I guess tomorrow's post may tell.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

MiTube: Mitubilee


It's stylist Wednesday on the tube but my elbows are wedged pretty tightly against my body so reading the magazine proves difficult. The pages are splashed with red, white and blue images and stories. I break tube commandments and read over the shoulder of the woman in front of me. The up coming jubilee is being promoted with an array of products that celebrate the queens 60th bash. What a babe, I love queeny, as much as I love Angela Lainsbury and any other woman who can command an audience without getting their boobs out. The type of woman who woft of lavender and knowledge. and So my favorite jubilee special-edition product is the marmite bottle spelled ma'amite. LOVE that. Hot guy enter tube. Love that too.. So queeny is a monarch, ma'am and adjective all in one, can't think of another woman who has the same prowess, Jessica Fletcher maybe. What are you the queen of? If we're passing out self titles I'd like the queen of macaroon please. That would be Queeny. That would be Fletch.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

MiTube: MineTube

Its sweltering and crowded on the tube, I'm wedged between an armpit and the glass divider. Summer has caught us by surprise after a cold spell that seemed to go on for months. I feel really sorry for the finance City AM reading types who are all cuffed with long sleeve shirts and tight collars. Considering the current climate, it seems that the economy is like a shadow that refuses to cool us down. Less students have jobs than any predecessors, greece is about to be voted off the euro island and fadebook shares are pretty dismal. So while some of us may be wearing summer brights, feathered earings and itsy bitsy's, no one can escape the mood that quaffs the air down here. People seem angry at the air too, they're frowning at the distance and some are closing their eyes to imagine themselves far away from this high pressure cooker. 

I notice a big fat engagement ring belonging to a hand very close to my face, although the diamond would probably still be noticeable from the opposite platform. She too looks miserable. Diamonds, like the shares that are valued by this economy, are largely only perceived in value. If this diamond ring is any indication that this woman could be above the financial woes of recession she doesn't appear to better off in mood than anyone on this train. Her skinny little finger seems to be battling with the weight of it.  So while we all suffer in silence and I can feel a sweat bead run down the inside of my arm, I wonder if being in such heat, feeling so much pressure so far underground.. are we anything like diamonds that go through molten pressure to emerge a prized gem. Will we break the earth and shine, better off for enduring this underground punishment? Will we sparkle? Will we fascinate? I don’t think there is anything sustainable about the negative energy that comes out of this mine and gross this is going to rhyme, but thankfully today there's at least sunshine.

MiTube: Going out on a limb

Flirty above the knee dress + windy escalator tunnel = marilyn 2.0.

Thankfully I opted for decent undergarments! Tres embarassing.

I can see a lot of legs today.. A great symptom of summer. We're all trying to hang cling to a pole like an awkward first attempt at stripping as the train makes awkward breaking movements. I think we feel the same way about what we're wearing- a little awkward and too accustomed to winter coverage. Its been months since we revealed any leg and mine are still tingling from my emergency shave this morning. There are many things you shouldn't rush and shaving is definitely one of them. But we have to make the most of whatever sunshine we can get in this town. When I was sun worshipping on the terrace of my office yesterday some of my friends exclaimed that there is so much pressure to be out of doors when the sun comes out. I feel the same pressure for my legs to come out because the opportunity is so rare. And judging by the air of self consciousness in this tube, so are half the women. Of course no man is showing his legs. They're just standing inbetween the forest of bare legs with their covered uniform and it makes me wonder if I'm luckier or under more social pressure to preen, shave, show and be sexy. Or as women perhaps we can just get away with more in this heat. As 5 petite hands cling to this pole in the middle of our carriage, I think this strip show is that of choice. I don't know if Marilyn did much for the feminist movement, I don't know if the feminist movement did much for the feminist movement... But what I do know is that this morning my limbs had options and that's more than I can say for any businessman on this bare leg of the journey.